"Why is this happening to me?"

“Why is this happening to me?”

Where is my faith? Even deep down … there is nothing but emptiness and darkness … If there be God – please forgive me. When I try to raise my thoughts to Heaven, there is such convicting emptiness that those very thoughts return like sharp knives and hurt my very soul …. How painful is this unknown pain – I have no Faith. Repulsed, empty, no faith, no love, no zeal ….  What do I labor for? If there be no God, there can be no soul. If there be no soul then, Jesus, You are also not true.

Mother Teresa of Calcutta

Yesterday, was a rough one for me. I was feeling same way that Mother Teresa wrote above. And my reaction was nothing short of ugly. I screamed …. I cried …. I cursed …. I blamed …. I said, “I quit. I’m done. I’ve had enough.”

Yeah, it was that bad.

I’m bringing this up because of all the people I’ve done readings for over the years who have gone through the same thing when someone they love dies. They grieve. They question. They blame. They lose hope. They wonder how they can possibly go on. They go to sleep. They wake up. They go through it all over again. They question why “god” would do such a thing to them, cause their loved one to suffer the way they did, or “take them away” so soon.

The souls say that the real question we should be asking isn’t “why” but “what?” What am I supposed to learn during this time of heartache and suffering that I’m going through? “

What I learned is that if I turned away from my mission of spreading the message that “death is not the end of life, love or relationships,” I wouldn’t be failing God; I’d be failing myself. I learned that  I had to re-evaluate all of my beliefs that brought me to the crossroads I was facing in my journey, and understand that the real question isn’t whether I should go on, but which way to continue.

The answer, the souls tell us, is to follow where our hearts lead us.

In countless numbers of readings I’ve done, the souls reassure us that there is a reason for everything that happens in our lives. Every thing. They say that when we can somehow find the courage to continue, even though we have no clue about where we’re going, we will find the way to fulfill not only ourselves, but the lesson we’re supposed to learn in, and from, our grief.

Just this morning, while I was thinking about writing this, and what to say, I pulled a card from my “Mary, Queen of Angels” (Doreen Virtue) deck, that said, “Enthusiasm.” “Whatever I am most passionate about is the direction I follow.”

The word “enthusiasm” comes from “en theos,” “God within.” The souls say that when we feel as though God has abandoned us, what has happened is that “the Eternal Light of Love” has gone deeper into our hearts, waiting to be found there. Look deep into your heart in the midst of your pain, find the love that is there, and let it be your compass that leads you out of the darkness, back into the Light.

I feel your peace.


If you liked this, you’ll love my book,

“Communications from the Other Side: Death is Not the End of Life, Love, or Relationships.”

Now I’m not one to read books that mediums put out because frankly, I think most of them are fake. But when my cousin said she had purchased the book and read it, I decided that I should take a look at it and see what it was all about. My curiosity got to the best of me. Let’s just say the book opened my eyes. It made me a believer in the afterlife again and in Anthony as a genuine medium. Melissa Pepples