Learning to forgive.

Learning to forgive.

Forgiving yourself and others releases you from painful burdens you may be carrying. As a spiritual coach, it’s been my experience that most of us understand this, but we don’t really know how to truly forgive the hurts done to us, and that we’ve done to ourselves and others. In this post, I’ll tell you how.

Recently, I did a family session for five sisters and a brother. During the sitting their father came through to ask their forgiveness for leaving them when they were still children. He not only left them, but eight children altogether. With the exception of the youngest sibling, those at the session seemed to be dealing with their father leaving them well enough. They even said that they forgave their father for what he did, and I’m sure that they believed they had; they made peace with the pain and let it go. But their father’s insistence that they forgive him suggested otherwise.

In another reading I did several years ago, I was bringing through Priscilla’s husband who had crossed over five years before. I felt an impact to the right side of my head. My face immediately felt wet. I told Priscilla what I was experiencing. “My husband owned his own business and he was doing payroll when an employee he fired came into his office and blew my husband’s head off with a shotgun.”

I could see the hurt and anger in her eyes as she told me this. “Your husband is telling me that the man who murdered him is in prison.” Priscilla nodded. I took a deep breath. Now comes the hard part. “He wants you to know he’s forgiven this man for what he’s done … and he wants you to do the same.”

“No! No! No! I can’t! I won’t! I will never forgive that man for taking my husband away from me!” Priscilla screamed, shaking her head and weeping.

It’s times like this I feel as though I’ve won a seat on the gameshow, “Shoot the Messenger!” “I understand how you feel. I’m just telling you what your husband is telling me,” I told her.

“Why?” she cried. “Why would he want me to do that?”

The souls have told me that they can see what we can’t – the BIG picture, how everything fits together and the lessons to needed to be learned by those they’ve left behind. Forgiving others for the harm they’ve done to us, and forgiving ourselves for the wrongs we’ve done to others, and to ourselves, are among those lessons.

So what exactly does it mean to “forgive?” I looked it up in dictionary.com, and here are two definitions I found for the purposes of this post- 1. to grant pardon to (a person), 2. to cease to feel resentment against: to forgive one’s enemies. (For many of us, either of these is much easier said than done.)

So how do you forgive yourself and others? I’ll tell you what I tell my clients …, “You quit wishing the past were different.”

Note – I was going to end this post with the last sentence, when the souls literally directed me to something that may sum up the lesson we need to learn, best. “The past cannot be changed, forgotten, edited or erased … it can only be accepted.”



If you liked this, you’ll love my book,

“Communications from the Other Side: Death is Not the End of Life, Love, or Relationships.”

Now I’m not one to read books that mediums put out because frankly, I think most of them are fake. But when my cousin said she had purchased the book and read it, I decided that I should take a look at it and see what it was all about. My curiosity got to the best of me. Let’s just say the book opened my eyes. It made me a believer in the afterlife again and in Anthony as a genuine medium. Melissa Pepples